I went with my wife to the Watchett seminar and grading 2 weeks ago and and on the drive back we chatted about our separate experiences over the weekend. I spent my time in the dojo and she spent hers sightseeing and shopping with the partner of one of the other instructors.
She made the interesting point that in the day and a half she had spent with my kendo friend’s spouse, she knew more about their family life than I had discovered in thirty years. She was up-to-date on their current economic situation, kid’s education progress and their retirement plans. Whereas I, knew nothing about their family life.
I of course know that he has strong seme, tends to be a little too stiff in keiko and if I am in trouble, would do his best to help, as I hope I would if the situation were reversed. Oh yes, and I know what he drinks.
Our relationship is one of many similar friendships I have in kendo where we have never talked in detail about our respective lives, but know each other through keiko. It is either ko-ken-chi-ai or as my wife would see it “Women are from Venus etc.”